1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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