Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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