I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
