His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
