Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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