u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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