I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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