hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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