so that wasnt chicken after all
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
