i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
