forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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