OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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