im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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