I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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