just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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