I just cut my nipple shaving
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
