I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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