I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
