Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
