so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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