I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
