Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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