I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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