Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
