now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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