Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
