so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize