Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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