your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
