I just saw a hot homeless man
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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