let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
