so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
