did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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