You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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