we have officially lost it.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize