Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
