some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
