His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
