Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
