Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
