It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
