Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
