Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize