Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
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