Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
