if i died would you start the facebook group?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize