I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
