his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
