I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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