literally had 100 drinks last night.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
