I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
