Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
