does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
