dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I would ride that face into the sunset
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
