There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
