I'm going to jail i love you
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
