we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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