defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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